The Proverbs 31 Mother (Part Two)
She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Proverbs 31:26
I don’t know about you, but man, this verse carries weight for me. I have it posted on the mirror in my bathroom and read it multiple times a day. I often don’t speak wise words and I certainly don’t always follow the law of kindness.
I have read and prayed this verse so many times that now when I lose my temper, or get short, or just flat out say something ridiculous this verse pops into my head as a gentle reminder that I CAN do better. Our words can be used to uplift or tear down.
What we tell our children will become their inner voice. What message are we sending to them?
[If you haven't done so already, be sure to read part one of The Proverbs 31 Mother by clicking here.]
About a year ago, a blogger that I follow posted about how as a child her dad used to randomly pull each of her 9 siblings aside and sit down face to face with them. On each and every finger he would write the letter of things he loved about them, strengths they had, and things he admired about them. She shared how all of them loved it so much they all did/do it with all their own kids now.
I adopted this little treasure into my own family and seeing my son's eyes light up as I write out each letter and tell him what it stands for is worth its weight in gold. Kindness is free, but it's not always easy. Our fleshly hearts don’t always choose it, but it's a cry of my heart that God aligns my actions with his, and the law of kindness is on my tongue.
Another habit I've adopted is praying over my children. Not just at bedtime, or on my own, but random times in the day where they crawl up in my lap or I'm holding them. I always do it so they can hear me thank God for them.
I pray for his plans over their lives, I pray for choices they will make, I pray about how much God loves them and how there isn’t anything they could do to change that. I speak how thankful I am to be their mother.
My kids always sit still and soak up that blessing. It's a time to pause, hold them close, and be a Godly woman of wisdom living out a Godly example to them.
Wisdom has been one of my biggest prayers this year. I can feel like a fish out of water when it comes to raising Godly children or being a Godly mother. But God is faithful and he provides; ask and it shall be given to you.
Another thing God has placed on my heart is sharing with my kids how he is working in my life, what areas I see changing, and how I feel and hear him. This is a gift to them--that they can see their very human mother (who messes up on the daily) and hear how their Heavenly Father works.
They can see how, just like them, I fall short and need to improve; how God has also given me a plan, and how I’m pursuing that. I hope that one day they will have the courage to ask God to change them, that they will enter into a journey to become made new by the holy spirit. All because years before that their mother paved the foundation and planted that very seed.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
I love this verse; I love the responsibility God gives us to be “watchers” over the affairs of our households. It's our job to make sure that the heartbeat of the home is beating to the rhythm it should.
God gave women the powerful gift of intuition. We have this amazing ability to be in tune with others' emotions and to see and feel things we can’t explain. It is with these gifts that God chose us to hold the line. We are responsible to make sure that what is going on under our roofs is honoring to God and brings glory to him.
We are to practice discernment and faithfully sacrifice so that we can live purposefully. With doing that, it says we “do not eat the bread of idleness." We don’t partake in worldly things. We don’t carelessly, mindlessly, or lazily waste our time.
God has convicted me big time in this area. I had to take a hard look at what exactly I was so “busy” doing and see if it was actually of any importance. I had to give up my mindless Facebook scrolling, and uncontrollable need to see every photo posted on Instagram. I needed to look up and see my babies faces, to look into their eyes when they spoke to me, to pay attention to what was going on around me.
Paying attention to MY life instead of someone else’s.
I need to be a good example to my kids of how to spend time. I need to build a life that I don’t need to escape from. Mommas, we need to be diligent in this area; the pull of our attention is great and it is easy to get sucked in the bottomless pit of social media. We are literally wasting our lives looking at other people's lives. This does not fill our cups, it's not life giving, and it certainly doesn’t help our children in any way.
There is a quote I love that says: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” How much of our life are we exchanging for mindlessness?
It is not self-care to check out and zone out. It's self-stealing and it robs from you, but also your marriage and your children. We need to stop being so “distracted” and we need to become attentive, engaged, and focused on what really matters in life.
Now, I’m not telling you to abandon ship and throw your phone away. But I am saying to be wise and set limits if you need them. Let's stand up and set a good example for those that are coming up behind us, and let's be good watchers of our households.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28
Friends, this is our blessing; this is our promise of being a Proverbs 31 mom. The fruits of our labor multiply and our husband and children cannot deny them.
About 7 years ago, I attended a conference where a young couple was speaking. The wife had grown up in a house with Godly parents who were also very successful and very respected all over the country. As she stood on that stage she said something I never forgot. She said, “People always ask me what my parents did that made us want to follow in their foot steps. I always tell them that they kept it camelot. They were the same people in front of thousands of people as they were behind closed doors. They planted a seed in me that I wanted to be like them.”
Powerful isn’t it? Are you transparent? The same on the outside as in the inside? The same in front of people as behind closed doors? I pray we live in such a way that our kids see us as “blessed" and that we leave an example that they want to follow.
I end with this: we will mess up, A LOT. We will have to choose to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, ask for forgiveness and move forward. Momma, this path is not for the faint of heart, but man, it's worthy of its struggle.
I send a big hug to you. I pray this post inspired you, challenged you, and encouraged you. I pray we can rise up to the call and I pray that we lean on God every step of the way. You are worthy of being a Proverbs 31 mother. You are good enough and you are capable.
We get one shot at raising these babies lets give them our very best... God's best!